Hello everyone. Welcome to the second in our First Steps For Affiliate Marketers Training – What Is Affiliate Marketing?
Here’s The Phonetic Script Prepared Using Balabolka.
Hello and welcome everyone from me, LuckyEthel, with the job of taming bert and a big sloppy kiss from my dear old hubby Bert whose job it is to be tamed. It’s your job to be tamed Bert so that means I am the Boss.
Welcome to EthelBertClub. The home of Unserious Serious Marketing, where we take our serious marketing seriously but have unserious fun doing it, so you’ll remember what you learn, we hope.
Welcome to First Steps Training Part 2, What Is Affiliate Marketing? This is the second in our, stop doing that to the cat bert, you’ve made me lose count. This is part 2 in our series about affiliate marketing aimed at newcomers who want to work from home for themselves for a change. Over the next few lessons we’ll be covering First steps training for newcomers that we offer at EthelBertClub. You’ll learn in this step What affiliate marketing is all about .
Later in this first steps training series you’ll learn the importance of branding, and you’ll discover the importance of social media and why social media is vital for affiliate marketers.
You’ll hear exactly how vital training is, including the willingness to pay for training when you desperately need it. Here at EthelBertClub all our training is free and it always will be. That’s why you should include EthelBertClub as a major part of your newcomer training schedule from now on.
Later on we’ll learn about the importance of actually getting on with it and doing the work needed to be a successful marketer because successful affiliate marketers are not accidental, they are always the product of hours and hours of hard work.
As a final part in our first steps for newcomers training series we’ll be taking you on a journey. A magical journey into your own mind. A journey to reconnect you with your imaginary friend, the one you had as a child who helped you be strong and fearless in the face of overwhelming forces such as when playing cowboys and Indians with the other kids on your street.. We’ll go on A journey to teach you how you and your rediscovered imaginary friend can become friends again so you become strong and fearless again. Bert get that cat down from there.
But first, it’s on with step 2 in this EthelBertClub first steps training for newcomers to affiliate marketing. Here at EthelBertClub we are all about learning with humour so you’ll never forget, so don’t forget us and join our social media groups and pages, thanks from Bert and me.
What is affiliate marketing?
It’s like this. If burglars pop around to your house while you’re out having a lovely holiday in the sun, they could have two weeks to empty your place and sell everything you’ve got. But don’t be too alarmed right now because, that, is not, affiliate marketing. It also quite often involves a police car and even a holiday of one’s own at Her Majesty’s Pleasure. it’s UK slang for her majesty putting you up for a spell in one of her lovely cozy prisons for people who won’t behave. Did you hear that Bert. A place for people who won’t behave.
If you invite me to pop around to your house so I can sell it for you with your blessing and our hope of a shared profit, and then if I pop round to Facebook, or even twitter, or even as a last resort, eBay, and sell your stuff there, that, is, affiliate marketing.
So what is an Affiliate Marketer?
It’s hard to completely describe an affiliate marketer other than to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
An Affiliate Marketer is a glorified Salesperson on the cheap, cutting costs etc.
It isn’t all gloom and selling stuff for other people and just being 9 to 5 at home looking at a screen at home instead of sitting in an office being a bit bored already at half past 9 because being in offices all day is unbelievably boring by 10.
Over the years we’ve sat in offices teaching people how to use computers and designing software applications for their bosses. It was only by sitting alongside people that we could get a grasp of their own reality, not just see things from what their bosses told us.
Affiliate Marketing is not only about not having your own stuff to sell but being able to make a profit selling other people’s stuff. It’s about being able to offer you much higher commissions. Bert what have you done to that cat now? How can he get down when you’ve super glued his paws to the ceiling like that? Behave bert. It’s his hormones, I think.
Let’s move on to talk about the different , and amazingly diverse TYPES OF AFFILIATE MARKETING available to almost anyone online who is over the legal age limit for online affiliate marketing in each country. Some countries don’t have an age limit so a two year old with their imaginary friend can even do it If they can already read And if they can already write And if they already have a bank account. Now I Come to think about it, that pretty much rules out most two year olds wouldn’t you think? But it doesn’t rule out imaginary friends because two year olds will be twenty year olds one day and 20 year olds will probably be only able to work from home for themselves by then and they’ll need all the help their imaginary friend can give them once the bosses have replaced the people with shiny little robots. At the moment we might think robots are cute. Our kids won’t. They will be in direct competition with the robots by then for the scraps that get left on the table.
MLM, Pyramid, Affiliate, Associate, if you’re looking for opportunities to work from home for yourself online you will no doubt see and hear these terms time and time again. But what do they mean? What types of affiliate marketing can people do? There are many different terms bandied about online trying to entice wanna be, work from homers to sell or promote their stuff.
OK. We will begin with Multi Level Marketing, MLM for short. That way it’s not alphabetical and you just can’t tell how many we will cover over the next few minutes by merely taking an educated guess Can you, bert says?
Bert reckons the best thing he can think of to say about MLM systems is that MLM has got an M in it. It has got an L in it, and it also has another M in it, and that’s why we call it MLM. And MLM is harder to forget when you think it’s silly, eh? Bert says it’s even sillier if you say MLM backwards for a nice change and if life needs to cheer you up and if the next door people ain’t climbing through your window because then E M E R G E N C Y becomes more appropriate while your furniture is disappearing.
Paypal often frowns upon some MLM systems because Paypal think they are dodgy sometimes just like that other payment platform Payza, which seems to be well dodgy most of the time and the American owners get carted off to court on quite a regular basis it seems. If they are getting carted off to jail more often than that we’d like to apologise for misrepresenting them in their fullest capacity and ensure you your money just ain’t that safe quite often with them on account of it being difficult to access their funds from an american jail, even though americans are all high tech and never miss out on any sales opportunity, do they Bert? Bert says No.
Now what about Pyramid Marketing? Does it involve egypt and the illegal selling of antiquities? No Bert It Does Not. The egyptians sold those pyramids long ago. The ones sticking out of the sand these days are plastic. It will be a problem explaining them to the Egyptian people when global warming really takes hold and the pyramids start to wilt.
Real life proper Pyramid schemes are kind of what they suggest, pyramids, but not the plastic ones from the desert. Real life proper Pyramid schemes involve selling other people’s stuff with you starting as a newcomer right at the bottom, expected to make your own pyramid of wanna be affiliate marketers under you. In proper real life you’ll be making the person above you rich with a little bit of your commissions, and the person above him with a little bit of your commissions too. Pretty soon you’ll likely give up and wilt, like the egyptian pyramids will, unless you get good at growing a down line, a group of people under you and under them, and so on. That’s when pyramid marketing works well. But as a newcomer, it’s best to learn a little at least first before you rush into any affiliate marketing program. You may end up regretting it and we at EthelBertClub do not want that any more than you do.
What are Affiliations and Associates as far as online marketing is concerned? For newcomers to the online affiliate marketing world These are the same thing in real effect. Some people are normal and have affiliations so anyone can sell their stuff. Amazon get all shirty and tell you that you’re an Associate which is ever so posh for affiliate marketer who perhaps thinks she’s posh. EthelBertClub are Amazon Associates and we can sell Amazon stuff if we want. But we can’t be beggared can we Bert. Bert I said, we can’t be beggared being that posh, just to keep Old Amazon The Bossy Boots happy. Berts says something a lot more unpublishable and extremely rude with lots of Fs and other letters in them so Bert might need a floor mop wrapped round his chops soon.
But what bert says translated into proper words is this. Amazon make you wait for 3 months for commissions and if your sales don’t reach a certain value each month, you get nothing, beggar all, ziltch. Zero for all your hard work. Bert says that is simply unfair, and Bert in this case is right and I’m sure you’ll agree. There are so many different types of affiliation for people to choose from we just can’t list them all because Bert’s itching to get to the chemists to get some cream for the people at hungry for hits who get spots. I keep telling him that the people at hungry for hits haven’t all got spots but they all get the chance to grab a spotlight ad at a really brilliant traffic exchange called hungry for hits where people exchange traffic.
Bert where are you? Sorry folks but Bert’s already gone, typical bloke, Always rushing, never thinking things through like us proper people called women do.
I guess it’s down to just me from now to tell you quickly about some of the pitfalls with affiliate marketing. The main one being, you could get fleeced rotten. It happens so often that it’s almost a national pass time in some regions of the world. Getting fleeced rotten includes getting fleeced rotten by not getting paid, getting fleeced rotten by not getting what you pay for and also just general all purpose getting fleeced rottening, which is apparently the most popular. As you can see there are Quite a few ways of getting fleeced rotten to choose from if you’re in the mind for a little bit of getting fleeced rotten on the side.
If you ain’t feeling like getting fleeced rotten then the answer is this. Check everything on the site including contact details. Make sure there’s a phone number so you don’t have to use your own phone to call the police and tell them how much you thoroughly enjoyed getting fleeced rotten. It will brighten up their day and give them a jolly old larf, won’t it? Also make sure their site is current and all their social media sites are as well. There can sometimes be a clue to reliability if they haven’t posted anything for 7 years so do your research first before ever joining anything or getting fleeced rotten is what you’ll be doing.
Far be it from us to leave you thinking affiliate marketing is just doom and gloom . There are major advantages to affiliate marketing and being your own boss. I like being the boss here so I can get Bert to do the washing up. Washing up is in Bert’s jeans. He hides it there so I think he’s done it. Ain’t Bert naughty girls and boys? He deserves to go to bed without any supper when he hides the washing up in his jeans like that, but he can’t. If I send bert to bed without any supper because he has hidden the washing up in his jeans again then there’s no clean stuff so I just have to get him out of bed to do the washing up. Then I have to get him to wash his jeans because now they’re dirty as well. Then Bert can go back to bed while I eat my supper. That’ll teach Bert won’t it folks?
Coming up next in this first step training here at EthelBertClub. The ADVANTAGES Of Affiliate MARKETING and why Affiliate MARKETING is FOR U? Because affiliate marketing can take you to the stars and next week we will tell you how.
Pop back next week for part three of our EthelBertClub First Steps Training For Affiliate Marketers. We’ll be waiting to see you then, but right now I’ve got to somehow get that cat off of the ceiling.
Owe. Bert’s just come back with chocolates in a lovely pretty box for me, ain’t Bert sweet? He can have supper tonight after all.
That’s it for today everyone.
We hope you found this training fun and informative. If you did get in touch here at EthelBertClub and add us to your bookmarks. Join our newsletter gang and facebook group. keep up to date with everything we do.
Here at EthelBertClub we are here to help you, and remember, EthelBertClub is the home of unserious, serious, marketing.
This is LuckyEthel and My Mate Bert at EthelBertClub signing off. See you soon everyone. Bye Bye.
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