Welcome to our Complaints Department where our catchword of excellence is our guarantee of quality, always.


We Just Don’t Care. Not On The Wages We Get Paid!


Really.  We utterly do not care.


See that bin over there?

That’s where your complaints are going right now!!


We are professionals, that’s what we are.

We don’t give a hoot. 

Not one jot. 

Not even the slightest bit of just one jot, probably, but we can’t seem to find just one jot to be able to measure how big just one jot is. 

We’ve looked everywhere.  

Behind the cupboards,   

Under the stair. 

Between the cooker and the other cooker we’ve got ‘coz we’re ever so posh. 

We even looked up Granny’s skirt, but she seemed to like that which was a bit curious really, so that was just a quick glance you must understand.

We’ve been in this business since the internet began and WE ARE EXPERTS!!

Give us grief and reap what’s coming…you’ll be top of page 1 on Google within the hour, warning people about you and telling them to avoid you and every company you’re associated with like the plague!!

So, at the end of the day it’s over to our imagine folks to prove that a picture paints a thousand words.

If you’ve got an invalid complaint to make – Sod Off!!


My Mate Bert Complaints Dept


Play Round Your House


Always here to help.