Hiya, Gang. Welcome to Man’s Infinite Capacity For Stupidity- Why Einstein Never Had A Hammock – Albert Einstein’s take on the human race.
He had a slide rule probably but never figured out how to use it to measure light. It kept getting away as fast as he could catch it in his net.
He never had a hammock, you see!
Albert Einstein had a pretty good take on most things. He knew where his lunch was and he knew where the stars were and just how fast they were shifting in all directions except one.
That particular direction he reserved entirely as the direction of humanity.
Albert noticed that most mad people love hammocks but he never bought one.
Albert also knew about the limits of space – there are none.
At least, there were none by the time Albert had his brainwaves and found his chalk.
But humanity will always occupy another limitless space.
And that space he reserved entirely for humanity alone.
That direction he called – Stupid. Faster than light stupid.
The space which, unlike empty space is empty because it hasn’t yet been filled, was already full.
But that didn’t matter one atom.
This space he called – The Capacity For Human stupidity.
What dear old Albert also noticed was that no matter how quickly we got stupider the space left for more stupid stretched to make room for it.
Every time some-one shoved a blackboard almost up his nose and said,”write something clever”, he secretly thought to himself, “gonna shove this fekkin blackboard up your nose you incredibly stupid beggar” – but he never said it.
All he ever said was “E = mC with a little 2 above should be enough to suss out the whole universe, if like me, you’ve nearly got a cup named after you. Off ya go ya thick person. By the way, I haven’t gotta hammock & I ain’t buying one until you lot invent skyscrapers.“
‘Coz he was clever a bit they nearly named a drinking cup after him until they realised they’d already got eine stein, thanks, and it’s full of lager.
So, it seems Einstein should have to come up with better than that if he ever wanted to get remembered.
But at least we all know now why Albert Einstein never bought a hammock!!.
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