Hiya, Gang. Welcome to Why Hong Hong Never Was British Really – What Happens When The Brits Pop Round.
This is the latest in our Survival Guides to After The Brits Popped Round.
Once upon upon a time China was probably quite peaceful. It might not have been but who are we to say – but it wasn’t when the Brits popped round!
It might well be really nearly true because..
Being peaceful ain’t always in British nature as history displays.
And what happened was – the Brits popped round.
They had this ship, you see. By rights it should’ve sank straight to the bottom when it was launched ‘coz it was all hard and made of metal and that sinks, don’t it?
But it wouldn’t behave and sink like proper metal does so the Brits sent it to China to say “Hello”.
It just so happened that at that time Hong Kong looked really green and luverly in the Brits’ minds ‘coz it only ever rains in Britain and the Brits went “Right! We’re ‘Aving That. Ta!“
In the end China said “Cor. That’s a bloody heavy ship you got there wot’s all made of metal, like, (but in Chinese obviously). Why don’t it sink?”
And the Brits went..“We dunno, either, mad innit! Can we havva go on Hong Kong?”
And the Chinese went…“Yeah, suppose so on account of that bloody great metal ship you got wot’s made of metal and by rights should sink just like you’ve sunk our entire navy. Whoops! Yeah – But can we have Hong Kong back when it’s full of cash and skyscapers?”
And the Brits went…“Course ya can, mates!” – Ain’t us Brits a bit clueless at times?
And now Hong Kong is ever so rich with loads of lovely cash and loads of lovely tall buildings, just like the whole of China, and that’s what happens when the Brits pop round.